THE OCEANMAKER!

Monday the 6th of November.

The video;

Yesterday we had to make a story based off this movie (The Ocean Maker) If you would like to watch it just click the video above. PROCESS; we had to write it when you first saw the girl in her plane scrathing her eyes and after that we had to make the rest up by our self, once we watched it we had to talk about the location, how we thought she felt/what she saw and what we were wondering.

Heres my story I would love if you took a few minutes to read it and give me some feedback how I could improve, do I need more descriptive sentences, similes, ING words or was it not interesting enough?

Dark Grey smoke flew behind the plane, I had to find them, I knew they were still alive I could feel it in my gut.

Family; they are always there for you even when you don't want them to, they are family after all, I couldn't leave my family, I had to save them.

Tiredly; I scratched my eyes, wiped the sweat off my forehead and carried on steering the plane, it's been 42 days since I woke up lying on the sandy desert that was once an ocean, I don't know where all the water disappeared to, it all just left, in the warm air my plane carried on, looking down, broken ships/boats scattered everywhere.

There! I see something, a group of people; sleeping?

Steering my plane downwards to land, within seconds we were onto the ground, I sprinted over to the pile of people, my heart was racing faster than ever, my mind was going crazy with tons of thoughts but the main one was, could it be my family?

Mom, Dad, Nadia? I pushed their bodies over and gave them cpr, no, no, no, no you can't leave me now, “YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME COME BACK, I can’t be alone here, I don’t know what to do” I cried in horror.

Clip clop, clip clop, I heard horse hooves, it couldn't be, no way I said in my head, could it be my horse?

Racing through the warm breeze behind the big lump of golden sand there it was ; Ziggy my horse, he was alive, Cautiously he walked up to me, I carefully walked up to him and within milliseconds I couldn't keep it in, I threw my arms around his neck, I felt like I was glued there, like it was meant to be this way.

Later that day the sun setted and the moon rises, I made a pen for ziggy out of scrap wood from boats, right next to my.. I guess I could call it home, home was an old submarine, I woke up right next to it 42 days ago so I decided to make it homey, I didn't have to change much on the inside because it was already built up, nothing was broken, no leaks, but luckily there was loads of food and water that would last me years but since my horse is around now it would only last me a few years if i'm lucky.

Rain machine, I have to get it working, yup I was back in my plane but instead of finding my.. you know, I was getting my rain machine to work, I took out my old, rusty dirty binoculars and ran them over the blue sky trying to find a, wait is that what i think it is, is that a ; cloud.

Putting my plane into full speed I flew like an eagle over the cloud, dropped some of my pink powder over the little ball of white candyfloss, looking behind me the cloud grew and grew and grew, water started falling out of the sky, lightning struck, buzzing the ground, oh no…

Flying back to home as fast as my plane could go I landed my plane took all my information about my rain machine inside and grabbed ziggy and put him inside one of the lion cages ( don't ask me why there's a massive lion cage )

BANG, right behind me the lightning struck my plane, “oh no” I muttered.

I had to keep under cover incase the lighting strikes, Katerina and Ziggy ARE NOT DYING TODAY! I shouted.

Sirens screamed, in a massive speaker someone shouted “IS ANYONE ALIVE DOWN THERE?”

Sprinting out from the submarine I jumped up and down, quickly running back inside to grab Ziggy I leaded him outside, rain bucketing down, Ziggy's chestnut and white coat was now drenching, the rain was running down his white blaze, now the rain was dripping down my long bleached blond hair, “i'm coming for you” he shouted.

Boom, his massive helicopter landed, it could fit an elephant it was that big, this guy with tanned skin and brown long hair with dreds jumped out of the helicopter, “what's your name” he asked, “Katerina Petrova” I answered, i’m sorry to tell you this, I can only take one of you, so i'm guessing, hop in!” he replied, “no way you're taking my horse leave me here” I said boldly, “but you will drown, this is turning back into an ocean, we have to hurry” he said strongly, “let me die then, at least i'll see my family, i'm not going to live if my horse will die, give my horse to my cousin; Sophia Taege” I ran up to Ziggy and gave him one last hug, got my pocket knife out and cut some of tail off and held it tight while he leaded him into the helicopter. “goodbye Ziggy”.

Running my heart out up the hill, the rain was falling down on me, stood in front of the cliff, “goodbye world”, I took that last step off.